Arfard the Barbarian

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This issue of Tales from the Tavern is copyrighted by Jagex. It is copied verbatim from the RuneScape website.

Reldo writes: I present this as a comical tale in the finest tradition of Barbarian humour. Perhaps a little coarse for more refined literary tastes, but a fine example nonetheless.

Arfard the Barbarian - by Samitasmas[edit | edit source]

It's a shiny, good day in the Barbarian village,a[sic] settlement in the world of Runescape. It must be a very good day,because[sic] even the coal mining spot isn't crowded.

But the peace breaks when a beer glass flies through a window of the messhall of Barbarian village. -No beer for you,until[sic] you pay your loan! the messhall keeper yells. -This place is not good! "loan"... Who cares about loans? Arfard says.Arfard is a normal barbarian... he likes beer a lot,and[sic] he is not very rich. -I care about loans! the messhall keeper yells back.

So Arfard wandered out of the messhall. He didn't have money to pay his loans,and[sic] he still wanted some beer,so[sic] he decided to go to look for some.

He decided to go to Varrock,because[sic] a traveller had said to him that the Blue moon inn has good beer. When he got to the Blue moon inn,he[sic] suddenly realized that he didn't have any gold pieces left. -Dammit... now where do i get money from,Arfard[sic] muttered. -I can do something for your thirst, a man from a corner said. The man had long gray hair,black[sic] shirt and yellow trousers. -Well,you[sic] want to buy me a beer?Arfard[sic] asked. -I'll buy you as much as you want,if[sic] you go away. You smell like a hobgoblin,the gray-haired man said. -Well,i'll[sic] smell like a black dragon if you buy me a beer.

So the gray-haired man bought Arfard five glasses of beer and sneaked away. When he was at the western bank of Varrock,he[sic] muttered to himself: Another task completed,and[sic] he smiled.

Arfard drank some of the beer. It tasted awful. He decided to sell the beers someone. He sold the beers for a thirsty adventurer,and[sic] he got fifty gold pieces for the beers. He went back to the Barbarian village,and[sic] paid his loans. Then he took more beer for loan.