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This page contains the dialogue of Joe.
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- Joe: Hi, I'm Joe, door guard for Lady Keli
- Player: Hi, who are you guarding here?
- Joe: Can't say, all very secret. you should get out of here
- Joe: I am not supposed to talk while I guard
- Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
- Player: Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
- Player: I was just wondering what you do to relax
- Joe: You never relax with these people, but its a good career for a young man
- Joe: And some of the shouting I rather like
- Joe: RESISTANCE IS USELESS!
- So what do you buy with these great wages?
- Player: So what do you buy with these great wages?
- Joe: Really, after working here, theres only time for a drink or three
- Joe: All of us guards go to the same bar, And drink ourselves stupid
- Joe: Its what I enjoy these days, that fade into unconsciousness
- Joe: I can't resist the sight of a really cold beer
- Tell me about the life of a guard
- What did you want to be when you were a boy
- I had better leave, I don't want trouble
- Tell me about the life of a guard
- Would you be interested in making a little more money?
- Player: Would you be interested in making a little more money?
- Joe: WHAT! are you trying to bribe me?
- Joe: I may not be a great guard, but I am loyal
- Joe: How DARE you try to bribe me!
- Player: No,no, you got the wrong idea, totally
- Player: I just wondered if you wanted some part-time bodyguard work
- Joe: Oh. sorry. no, I don't need money
- Joe: As long as you were not offering me a bribe
- Tell me about the life of a guard
- Player: Tell me about the life of a guard
- Joe: Well, the hours are good.....
- Joe: .... But most of those hours are a drag
- Joe: If only I had spent more time in Knight School when I was a young boy
- Joe: Maybe I wouldn't be here now, scared of Keli
- What did you want to be when you were a boy
- Player: What did you want to be when you were a boy
- Joe: Well, I loved to sit by the lake, with my toes in the water
- Joe: And shoot the fish with my bow and arrow
- Player: That was a strange hobby for a little boy
- Joe: It kept us from goblin hunting, which was what most boys did
- Joe: What are you here for?
- Chill out, I wont cause you trouble
- Player: Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
- (See dialogue above)
- Tell me about the life of a guard
- I had better leave, I don't want trouble
- I had better leave, I don't want trouble
- Player: I had better leave, I don't want trouble
- Joe: Thanks I appreciate that
- Joe: Talking on duty can be punishable by having your mouth stitched up
- Joe: These are tough people, no mistake
During and after the Prince Ali Rescue quest[edit | edit source]
After completing the disguise and speaking with Leela[edit | edit source]
- (The conversation choice with Leela does not matter)
- I have some beer here, fancy one?
- Player: I have some beer here, fancy one?
- Joe: Ah, that would be lovely, just one now just to wet my throat
- Player: Of course, it must be tough being here without a drink
- (You hand a beer to the guard, he drink it in seconds)
- Joe: Thas was perfect, i cant[sic] thank you enough
- (if player doesn't have at least 2 more beers)
- Player: How are you? still ok. Not too drunk?
- Joe: No, I don't get drunk with only one drink
- Joe: You would need a few to do that, but thanks for the beer
- (if player has 2+ more beers)
- Player: Would you care for another, my friend?
- Joe: I better not, I don't want to be drunk on duty
- Player: Here, just keep these for later, I hate to see a thirsty guard
- (You hand two more beers to the guard)
- (he takes a sip of one, and then he drinks them both)
- Joe: Franksh, that wash just what I need to shtay on guard
- Joe: No more beersh, i don't want to get drunk
- (The guard is drunk, and no longer a problem)
After getting Joe drunk before freeing the Prince[edit | edit source]
- Joe: Halt. Who goes there?
- Player: Hello friend, I am just rescuing the prince, is that ok?
- Joe: Thatsh a funny joke. you are lucky I am shober
- Joe: Go in peace, friend
- Joe: Halt, who goes there? Friend or foe?
- Player: Hi friend, I am just checking out things here
- Joe: The Prince got away, I am in trouble
- Joe: I better not talk to you, they are not sure I was drunk
- Player: I won't say anything, your secret is safe with me