Dialogue for Joe

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Before Prince Ali Rescue[edit | edit source]

  • Joe: Hi, I'm Joe, door guard for Lady Keli
  • Player: Hi, who are you guarding here?
  • Joe: Can't say, all very secret. you should get out of here
  • Joe: I am not supposed to talk while I guard
  • Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
    • Player: Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
    • Player: I was just wondering what you do to relax
    • Joe: You never relax with these people, but its a good career for a young man
    • Joe: And some of the shouting I rather like
    • Joe: RESISTANCE IS USELESS!
      • So what do you buy with these great wages?
        • Player: So what do you buy with these great wages?
        • Joe: Really, after working here, theres only time for a drink or three
        • Joe: All of us guards go to the same bar, And drink ourselves stupid
        • Joe: Its what I enjoy these days, that fade into unconsciousness
        • Joe: I can't resist the sight of a really cold beer
          • Tell me about the life of a guard
            • (See dialogue below)
          • What did you want to be when you were a boy
            • (See dialogue below)
          • I had better leave, I don't want trouble
            • (See dialogue below)
      • Tell me about the life of a guard
        • (See dialogue below)
      • Would you be interested in making a little more money?
        • Player: Would you be interested in making a little more money?
        • Joe: WHAT! are you trying to bribe me?
        • Joe: I may not be a great guard, but I am loyal
        • Joe: How DARE you try to bribe me!
        • Player: No,no, you got the wrong idea, totally
        • Player: I just wondered if you wanted some part-time bodyguard work
        • Joe: Oh. sorry. no, I don't need money
        • Joe: As long as you were not offering me a bribe
  • Tell me about the life of a guard
    • Player: Tell me about the life of a guard
    • Joe: Well, the hours are good.....
    • Joe: .... But most of those hours are a drag
    • Joe: If only I had spent more time in Knight School when I was a young boy
    • Joe: Maybe I wouldn't be here now, scared of Keli
  • What did you want to be when you were a boy
    • Player: What did you want to be when you were a boy
    • Joe: Well, I loved to sit by the lake, with my toes in the water
    • Joe: And shoot the fish with my bow and arrow
    • Player: That was a strange hobby for a little boy
    • Joe: It kept us from goblin hunting, which was what most boys did
    • Joe: What are you here for?
      • Chill out, I wont cause you trouble
        • Player: Hey, chill out, I wont cause you trouble
        • (See dialogue above)
      • Tell me about the life of a guard
        • (See dialogue above)
      • I had better leave, I don't want trouble
        • (See dialogue below)
  • I had better leave, I don't want trouble
    • Player: I had better leave, I don't want trouble
    • Joe: Thanks I appreciate that
    • Joe: Talking on duty can be punishable by having your mouth stitched up
    • Joe: These are tough people, no mistake

During and after the Prince Ali Rescue quest[edit | edit source]

  • (See above dialogue)

After completing the disguise and speaking with Leela[edit | edit source]

  • (The conversation choice with Leela does not matter)
  • I have some beer here, fancy one?
    • Player: I have some beer here, fancy one?
    • Joe: Ah, that would be lovely, just one now just to wet my throat
    • Player: Of course, it must be tough being here without a drink
    • (You hand a beer to the guard, he drink it in seconds)
    • Joe: Thas was perfect, i cant[sic] thank you enough
    • Player: Would you care for another, my friend?
    • Joe: I better not, I don't want to be drunk on duty
    • Player: Here, just keep these for later, I hate to see a thirsty guard
    • (he takes a sip of one, and then he drinks them both)
    • Joe: Franksh, that wash just what I need to shtay on guard
    • Joe: No more beersh, i don't want to get drunk
    • (The guard is drunk, and no longer a problem)

After freeing the Prince[edit | edit source]

  • Joe: Halt, who goes there? Friend or foe?
  • Player: Hi friend, I am just checking out things here
  • Joe: The Prince got away, I am in trouble
  • Joe: I better not talk to you, they are not sure I was drunk
  • Player: I won't say anything, your secret is safe with me